last night I awoke with a start:
my shoulder,
ablaze with dreams,
desire,
and action
spoke to me:
“What are you waiting for my beloved?
the adventure is beginning
and we are waiting for you.
do not go back to sleep,
come with us…
there is so much to do”.
True Story.
So now,
I’m an insomniac.
Standing toe
to
toe
against
your fears
guarantees
a knockout.
you may survive,
and stagger about
round after round,
but you never had
a chance.
Me,
I invited my fear to breakfast,
he was held up
so we made it a late brunch,
how shocked he was
when my death rushed over
to settle the bill.
you see,
death was worried
I would miss
my 11:00 O’Clock.
Sometimes loss,
failure,
sadness,
hurt, and
shame
bear nothing more
than empty lines,
shallow thoughts,
and broken
promises.
to be swallowed by flies
fat on swine.
toiling away
and
it is now complete.
a space
to listen
to sweet
solitude.
a place to reflect
in the absence of a mirror.
a paradise of silence,
and peace.
Oh God I don’t want it.
But I am locked within.
I must forge myself a key.
I feel it.
where are all the pieces?
I don’t know.
how they will fit?
does it matter?
are they all here?
who cares!
but…
shhhh,
I feel it.
coming together.
all
coming
together.
Is this what life feels like?
I like it.
I’m not hopeful.
I’m not fakin’ it to make it.
I’m not “knowing it will be”
I
just
feel
it, and
the feeling
is good to me.
release into the flood
ushers a peace.
preceding
a rebirth?
it is so similar
to the calm
preceding death’s
embrace-
as he takes your ego,
and the cosmos you know.
I am done running.
I keep my little death
at my side.
he’s not good at chess.
but he’s killing this puzzle
with me.
Bounding
Racing
Inspiring
Me.
Old pup,
I miss you.
Limping
Living
savoring.
Young fart,
I love you.
Time
Runs
Intrepid.
Embrace
Infirmity,
With grace.
Because
there is no
other way.
Older,
And
Cunning…
Your eyes have faded.
But ‘Gus my friend,
I see
You
Patience and Faith.
Faith
and
Patience.
fantastic concepts indeed
but they don’t really
help
me
in the
HERE
and
NOW.
What of the Moment,
if we wait?
but
the wise Witch in the deep forest
and
the old sagacious son on the mountain
preach it.
and I guess they know,
right?
Pain comes,
pain never goes.
but
that is not so horrible.
pain is the seasoning
for the joys to come.
so fire up the oven,
a grand feast awaits us all.
today-
this evening,
I was filled with joy.
actually I was overjoyed,
basking in my light.
(I still am,
right now)
it does not need to be
part of me everyday.
joy flows
joy jolts
joy goes.
I remember that now.
life is a wheel.
and right now
I’m on top,
and loving it.
On a road internal
there is a hiccup.
it
causes a giggle
inside.
or is that
the Universe,
laughing at me
Again.
She likes to laugh at me
when I’m most serious
and focused.
I’ll dance with you
sweet Arachne.
We will waltz and salsa,
and tango.
we can even
do the wop.
but,
my laughing giddy Cytherean Wonder,
we dance down This Road.
or we don’t dance at all.
now
i know
what I knew
before
but forgot.
Sorry Babe
I strayed
for not too long,
but long enough.
won’t you come whisper
in my ear,
the next Great American novel,
or a fluff-piece,
exposé?
it matters not
just let me know
that you forgive me
and my wandering ways.
aMuse me,
One
Last
Turn.
i need you
to find
me
theDeprevation 