A Study in Self Pity

I am in the same place
again.
Searching for the same thing,
again.
I am feeling in the dark for answers
again.
Answers that once sustained and nurtured
now elude and mock.
Decide, Choose, and then Move.
is it so simple?
it was once,
when I was wiser
and stronger.
I want to remember.
I want to awaken.
I want
to not want.
I have forsaken myself.
is there any worse crime
than to abandon one’s soul?
perhaps.
But how would one know,
when drowning  in purposelessness?