Sailor who has never been to sea

Two steps sideways,
One forward…
Clickety-Click
Clackety-Click-
Staccato steps
propel him
this way and that.
A smart double breast
and Chinos to die for.
A carefully trimmed
grizzled beard
graces an impotently roguish face.
Memories of deeds never experienced
comfort the tipsy old man on his walk home.