toiling away
and
it is now complete.
a space
to listen
to sweet
solitude.
a place to reflect
in the absence of a mirror.
a paradise of silence,
and peace.
Oh God I don’t want it.
But I am locked within.
I must forge myself a key.
Category: Poem
death is really good at helping me solve jig saw puzzles
I feel it.
where are all the pieces?
I don’t know.
how they will fit?
does it matter?
are they all here?
who cares!
but…
shhhh,
I feel it.
coming together.
all
coming
together.
Is this what life feels like?
I like it.
I’m not hopeful.
I’m not fakin’ it to make it.
I’m not “knowing it will be”
I
just
feel
it, and
the feeling
is good to me.
release into the flood
ushers a peace.
preceding
a rebirth?
it is so similar
to the calm
preceding death’s
embrace-
as he takes your ego,
and the cosmos you know.
I am done running.
I keep my little death
at my side.
he’s not good at chess.
but he’s killing this puzzle
with me.
Time Wounds All Heels
Patience and Faith.
Faith
and
Patience.
fantastic concepts indeed
but they don’t really
help
me
in the
HERE
and
NOW.
What of the Moment,
if we wait?
but
the wise Witch in the deep forest
and
the old sagacious son on the mountain
preach it.
and I guess they know,
right?
Pain comes,
pain never goes.
but
that is not so horrible.
pain is the seasoning
for the joys to come.
so fire up the oven,
a grand feast awaits us all.
Joy
today-
this evening,
I was filled with joy.
actually I was overjoyed,
basking in my light.
(I still am,
right now)
it does not need to be
part of me everyday.
joy flows
joy jolts
joy goes.
I remember that now.
life is a wheel.
and right now
I’m on top,
and loving it.
Square One
Hangovers and Pancakes.
Trees and tall foreign birds.
I return
to capture past victories
only to realize the defeat
of me,
in me.
Brazilian babes shouting.
Robin
talking to me
about shoes,
or clothes….
I don’t remember…
because
it was was Robin fuckin’ Williams.
Best day of my fuckin’ life.
But.
I am here
now
Again.
Not my best day.
But a good day.
A damned
Good day.
Love
Lust
Life…
MEAT.
All fighting inside of me.
All
Losing.
But
I
Win,
when I submit.
to you.
Superhero
Complexed?
or just suffering
from one?
saving the world.
because I fear
my own soul is already
lost to perdition.
So,
without love
or compassion,
I set about,
making good works.
I carry, I soothe,
and patiently I guide…..
Does a true servant know any other way?
I serve this world,
faithfully?
giving everything
but myself.
That is kept locked away in a little box, Thriving? Rotting? Laughing? Crying.
Who knows? Who cares? It is safe, and so am I.
and this way,
i can give more.
So why is that not enough? Why is there still a burn, where there should only be void?
circles, spheres, and all things perfect.
I wanted
perfection
wrapped up in flaws.
I received
flawed beauty
reflected from without.
The hardest
thing I have never done
is to forget that I am not.
I give
until
I can’t,
then I roar
with the fierceness
of a potato.
When’s it all
over?
oh.
Family Roots (Congratulations)
we danced
we sang
we strategerized.
some trained as cultural heirs
to the struggle.
some trained for their personal
struggles.
and a few trained for the struggle
into their jeans.
and some just wanted
a hug.
but
it was warm,
it was complete.
it was a family.
I miss
as I reminisce
but,
some fathers beat
some mothers belittle-
your family can damage
your soul.
and so wisdom
was lost
for pride
and ego.
now I am Ronin
minus expertise.
Bushido,
without code.
a journeyman.
free,
to fuck the World.
She and
me,
we together
shall make a Family.
Mother,
I love you
you made
me, but I can
break you.
I have.
and will
again.
I love you but
insane
with life
and
insatiable
thirst,
I long
for your
power.
Mighty.
Alpha and Omega.
but
how could you
be so
much stronger,
than
me?
I push.
I struggle.
I laugh.
I fight.
I weep.
I Live.
I am sorry-
but you
dipped me in Styx-
nigh invincible,
I am strong.
you too
must have bathed
but,
love of me
left
your
exposed
heart.
Your power
is in your
weakness.
I love
you
too.
Inferno
I felt it
whispering to me.
Softly,
Fiercely,
Mockingly,
Faithfully.
So I ignored it
as one ignores the moans of ecstasy coming from next door.
I continued
empty, hungry,
And lost.
And…
Always,
an ellipsis.
after ever word
after every chuckle
after every smooth fuck…
an ellipsis.
my very soul pregnant
with…
Damn It.
…I know not
But all, resides inside.
the gentle whispering has left me,
alone,
I am quiet in
painful solitude-
That is,
except for the
raging torment
that was once
was…
a whisper.
If only I had listened,
If only I had been strong,
I would be in paradise,
whispering to my whisper.
But now the world will shake
and tremble with
my rage
and sorrow.
with my vision
and deceit.
My early inattentiveness
shall bring your end.
Go get your sandals,
and your towel too.
The Typhoon comes,
above my weary shoulders.
theDeprevation 