step
laugh
drink
cheer
fuck
eat
roll.
anything to fill
the void
that is not-
that will not.
A hungry bitch
of a whale,
there will never be enough
to feed the silence
she
needs more.
yet we throw crumbs of
love, lust, art, adventure….
but we know,
we know
what awaits.
a festering sore
exposed, vulnerable
and never healing.
an aspiration
for the weak willed
or the delusional.
-The parasites.
I learned to suture memories.
I am free,
as a rock in the wind.
The well runs deep
but the pump is broken.
and I have neither handle
nor rope
to pull my bucket.
a reservoir of wonder
and potential-
of love and miracles,
lie under the surface-
untapped,
undisturbed
unrealized.
I would cry
but I cannot reach my tears.
In the presence of one’s self
please,
do not lie.
Hiding between
friends or
family.
or
community.
you
are always.
alone.
except.
welcome
yourself
openly,
with love.
and see.
love me not.
love him not.
love not the sun
nor the moon.
love
the emptiness
inside.
and
feel
shine.
So much, is
too much
for me to give.
yet it is all there
inside
growing
and building,
and growing and wanting
to touch.
you.
Infinite is a dirty 8 letter word.
(twice as dirty as fuck and shit)
but not half as dirty as the original:
Love.
is it a lie?
am I a lie?
If not to give,
then why,
me. Oh why?
fire
remains.
untended
and
neglected.
and
failing.
my fire.
sated by inaction,
fear,
stagnancy,
and complacency.
a swamp of
disaffected
independence
-or
loneliness.
I seek
what once burned
through
yearning.
I miss
the joy and wonder
of rediscovered
youth.
when Freedom
was not
a dirty word
Or a shadowy
spectre-
Elusive
and haunting.
Haunted,
like my father.
It was
My motor
My compass
My lover
My sweet
yielding
masterful
compliant
Lover.
It was Mine.
I cleaved unto her,
stealing not brief moments
of ecstasy,
But embracing a life
plush with loving kindness.
Where are you Lover?
Must I needs blaze alone?
Wilt that bringst thee closer
To my flame?
I shall guide and protect thee,
Even as had thou once
shown me
my potential.
I love thee
And
wilt find thee
when I find me
again.
The ironic thing is, I really don’t like cats, and 45% of them don’t like me.
and
I need some more Yoda in my life.
sometimes I catch glimpses of me in the distance, but when I run up to hold me…
I am gone.
today
I want what is
denied.
which
I denied.
and
still,
why?
I deserve more
than I take.
I want you.
to want me
to keep on wanting you.
even when
I want more.
because it
s
all
for….
I want it all.
I have all
to give.
to all,
or none.
only
Me.
But this is
more.
Sly
Young
Old Lamb
in wolf’s clothing.
A gigantic Myth
of legendary proportion
and prowess.
Experienced.
and untested.
the world knows it
not,
but it awaits his flame.
Warmth.
Light.
to guide
the way.
smooth
like buttah’,
in a chunky farmhouse kind
of way.
Wise
as Sage.
Crafty
like Warriors.
anon.
But this fox
is a kit still
awaiting the
call
to war.
Hounds,
Be ready.
theDeprevation 