today
I want what is
denied.
which
I denied.
and
still,
why?
I deserve more
than I take.
I want you.
to want me
to keep on wanting you.
even when
I want more.
because it
s
all
for….
I want it all.
I have all
to give.
to all,
or none.
only
Me.
But this is
more.
we danced
we sang
we strategerized.
some trained as cultural heirs
to the struggle.
some trained for their personal
struggles.
and a few trained for the struggle
into their jeans.
and some just wanted
a hug.
but
it was warm,
it was complete.
it was a family.
I miss
as I reminisce
but,
some fathers beat
some mothers belittle-
your family can damage
your soul.
and so wisdom
was lost
for pride
and ego.
now I am Ronin
minus expertise.
Bushido,
without code.
a journeyman.
free,
to fuck the World.
She and
me,
we together
shall make a Family.
I love you
you made
me, but I can
break you.
I have.
and will
again.
I love you but
insane
with life
and
insatiable
thirst,
I long
for your
power.
Mighty.
Alpha and Omega.
but
how could you
be so
much stronger,
than
me?
I push.
I struggle.
I laugh.
I fight.
I weep.
I Live.
I am sorry-
but you
dipped me in Styx-
nigh invincible,
I am strong.
you too
must have bathed
but,
love of me
left
your
exposed
heart.
Your power
is in your
weakness.
I love
you
too.
Sly
Young
Old Lamb
in wolf’s clothing.
A gigantic Myth
of legendary proportion
and prowess.
Experienced.
and untested.
the world knows it
not,
but it awaits his flame.
Warmth.
Light.
to guide
the way.
smooth
like buttah’,
in a chunky farmhouse kind
of way.
Wise
as Sage.
Crafty
like Warriors.
anon.
But this fox
is a kit still
awaiting the
call
to war.
Hounds,
Be ready.
You
are more
than they.
You are more than
the we.
You are more,
just you.
Only Me
can clearly see
Truth.
always
alone,
community,
love,
& family
mask their fear for survival.
this thirst to
build bonds.
fantastical bonds
inescapable bonds,
unnecessary bonds,
smallens
you.
You,
Are
Big.
You
Are
Free.
You
Are
a God.
Be.
They took me from you,
But
I remember.
Not a child,
But as a man they stole me,
From you.
and called me Homeless
and
without roots
or pride.
without history.
without family.
without,
You.
They beat me,
calling me “boy”.
Some of my brothers believed,
and still
to this day
walk childlike:
full grown Man-childs
with violent toys.
Fearful
Powerful
Angry
and Proud-
and unsure.
uninitiated into Manhood.
Dangerous.
I remember you Mother.
In the drums of my heart
I remember.
I dance to remember
I write
to remember.
I fight
because I remember
how I was torn
how you were raped
how you are still raped.
They cannot take from me,
They cannot take from us
that which has always been ours.
Gladly I share it
But it’s mine.
You Mother-Fuckers,
It’s mine.
Respect that.
and Respect my brother too.
Respect
yourself.
the foggy chains of history
I shake off Now
I am reaching back,
deep to my roots.
back to the womb.
And I remember.
I
remember.
There’s a war
going on and no one is s….
Soldier,
from first breath
a legitimate target.
and
too often,
before.
torn from the womb,
You fight,
or you are
crushed.
But Their guns are bigger,
Their knives are sharper,
Their boots, heavier.
But we still
here.
You
still here.
Rock on little brother
Rock on.
Absolutely Honest.
I felt it
whispering to me.
Softly,
Fiercely,
Mockingly,
Faithfully.
So I ignored it
as one ignores the moans of ecstasy coming from next door.
I continued
empty, hungry,
And lost.
And…
Always,
an ellipsis.
after ever word
after every chuckle
after every smooth fuck…
an ellipsis.
my very soul pregnant
with…
Damn It.
…I know not
But all, resides inside.
the gentle whispering has left me,
alone,
I am quiet in
painful solitude-
That is,
except for the
raging torment
that was once
was…
a whisper.
If only I had listened,
If only I had been strong,
I would be in paradise,
whispering to my whisper.
But now the world will shake
and tremble with
my rage
and sorrow.
with my vision
and deceit.
My early inattentiveness
shall bring your end.
Go get your sandals,
and your towel too.
The Typhoon comes,
above my weary shoulders.
theDeprevation 